I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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