I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
