All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
He passed out mid-signature
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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