So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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