My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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