And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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