Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
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