He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize