Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Randomize
