I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
