you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
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I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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