Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I need to align my fucking chakras
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