do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
