When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
