hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
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It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
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Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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