And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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