Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
