I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
