I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
