Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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