Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
