I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
