while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Randomize
