It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize