I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
