that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
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