she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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