new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Found the puke drawer
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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