You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
