I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
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