All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
