Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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