Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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