you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
