this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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