Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
