Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
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I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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