And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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