They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
