omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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