I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.