hell yes lets make some ravioli
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"