New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
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He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
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he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.