Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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