belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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