After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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