Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Randomize
