No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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