Will you blow on my dice?
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
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my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
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my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize