i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
