is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Randomize
