I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
