So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
