If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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