Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
he puts the penis in happiness.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
