I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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